


Reflections on a Mirrored Pond

by BardicRaven



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-24
Updated: 2007-08-24
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:10:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3572522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <h5>Greetings!</h5><h5>Many, many thanks to <span class="ljuser i-ljuser i-ljuser-type-P"><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com/"><b>pwcorgigirl</b></a></span>for a most insightful beta!!!</h5><h5>Thanks also to the wonderful writers of M*A*S*H in general, and of the episode "Morale Victory" in particular, for the lending of a certain cadence....</h5><h5>My entry for the current house_fest....</h5>
<p><strong>Prompt:</strong> 23. <em>What drove Cuddy to stop being a full-time doctor and start being an administrator</em><br/><strong>Title:</strong> Reflections on a Mirrored Pond<br/><strong>Rating:</strong> PG<br/><strong>Pairing:</strong> Gen<br/><strong>Warnings:</strong> Spoilers for S2-3 "Humpty Dumpty" and S3-24 "Human Error", possible spoilage for misc. bits of background trivia</p>
<h5>
<em>House M.D.</em> and all related characters are the property of Shore Z, Bad Hat Harry, Fox, etc.</h5><h5>This particular variation on a theme belonging to others is mine.</h5><h5>Enjoy!</h5><h5>-Katrina</h5>
    </blockquote>





	Reflections on a Mirrored Pond

**Author's Note:**

> ##### Greetings!
> 
> ##### Many, many thanks to [](http://pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**pwcorgigirl**](http://pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com/) for a most insightful beta!!!
> 
> ##### Thanks also to the wonderful writers of M*A*S*H in general, and of the episode "Morale Victory" in particular, for the lending of a certain cadence....
> 
> ##### My entry for the current house_fest....
> 
> **Prompt:** 23\. _What drove Cuddy to stop being a full-time doctor and start being an administrator_  
>  **Title:** Reflections on a Mirrored Pond  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Pairing:** Gen  
>  **Warnings:** Spoilers for S2-3 "Humpty Dumpty" and S3-24 "Human Error", possible spoilage for misc. bits of background trivia
> 
> #####  _House M.D._ and all related characters are the property of Shore Z, Bad Hat Harry, Fox, etc.
> 
> ##### This particular variation on a theme belonging to others is mine.
> 
> ##### Enjoy!
> 
> ##### -Katrina

# Reflections on a Mirrored Pond

“So, where will you go now? What will you do?”

Cameron gazed into her  wineglass as if the answers to her future somehow lay in its crimson depths like tea leaves in a cup. “I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t stay here any more.”

Cameron knew her decision to leave had seemed impulsive. In some ways it was. But in others…. She looked up at Cuddy, who’d been her boss’ boss for so long, and Cameron’s fine green eyes, normally as clear as water, suddenly reflected the doubt and hesitation she was feeling. “Cuddy…” she said, and paused for a second. What she was about to ask was personal, and she knew how closely Cuddy guarded her personal life.  But maybe now that she was leaving, this one time the impertinence might be excused.

“Why did you decide to change? From active practice to administration, I mean.” 

“Well…” Cuddy swirled the liquor in her glass as she decided how to answer, watching the golden amber eddies flow and sparkle like waves in the sun against the low light of the bar.

She cast her mind back to an image of House in her office a little over a year ago. He’d become involved in the case originally because a man she’d felt responsible for had fallen off her roof and she’d called House in for the consult because she wanted the man who’d been working for her ever since he was a child to receive the best care possible. However, her own unwillingness to see the puzzle over the patient had caused her to make several critical mistakes, and the man now lay in a hospital room, one hand and his livelihood gone forever.

 House had told her then that she was a lousy doctor, but a good administrator.

In typical House fashion, he’d struck the hardest blow first, quick and clean, then followed it with an explanation to drive the lesson home. In this case, that her sense of guilt and her refusal to see the disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it could be made her good at what she did, and horrible at what she used to do. And that her own need for perfection made her a good boss and  someone who would never be happy. 

He’d been right.

There was another time he’d been right too, back in Michigan. One day, a lab-coated resident had looked at her with piercing blue eyes – eyes that seemed far older than his years -- and told her sharply to never stop striving to be the best.

It was only later that she’d found out that the young man who’d spoken to her so fiercely had been the legendary Gregory House. She’d held the memory close against her heart ever since.

And that was why she’d changed. Because he was right. She cared far too much, saw the world as it should be far too much, to ever make a good physician. Physicians needed to be able to see the world as it was… and at the worst that it could be, so that the worst could be avoided whenever possible. She was no good at that.

What she _was_ good at was showing others how the world could be. The lesson that House had taught her in that one passing moment could let her do no less than seek excellence, that place where she could be brilliant, instead of merely average. She knew her weaknesses as well as she knew her strengths and she realized now that the path she was currently on would not lead her to excellence. So, when the Dean’s position at Princeton-Plainsboro came available, she applied for it, and said goodbye to the life she thought she’d trained for without looking back.

And although she was young for the position, and female besides, her passion for doing what should be done had won over even the most cynical of the board members. They’d voted overwhelmingly to hire her.

The night that she learned she‘d gotten the job, she went home and raised a glass to House. He’d been right. And she thought that maybe someday she’d get the chance to tell him so.

The legends all said that House always put more store by deeds than words. A year later, she found the perfect way to return the gift he’d given her all those years before.  She’d just found him again after learning that he’d been fired for the fourth time for stubbornly following his own advice. The hospital needed his brilliance, and he needed the job as much as breathing. So she convinced the board to hire him, despite their doubts. And then she convinced him to take the job, despite his.

He’d been right.

Not really surprising. And not really surprising either that a favor done had been returned, for you see, that was part of what she believed in. And that was what made him right.

Coming back to herself, she smiled at the earnest young woman beside her, in so many ways still at the beginning of her journey into the art of the practice of medicine. Where would she find her home? Would she be able to find her balance, find the space between compassion and toughness required to be a great practitioner? Or would she find herself another way - in the lab, the classroom, the office? She’d already taken the first step by seeing that she needed to leave the nest, find her own way. Cuddy could only wish her well and hope that she, like herself all those years ago, had listened to what House had tried to teach her.

Cuddy raised her glass in a toast, to the past, to the present, to the future, to House - teacher, friend, colleague.

“I was shown the world as it could be,” she said and drained the liquor dry.

 


End file.
